A few weeks ago, I asked my friend Jessica if she had any ideas for future posts. Jessica replied, “What about the role of laughter in illness?” Initially, I rejected that suggestion. After all, what part of ALS was funny? I reflected back to my husband Brian’s courageous struggle with the disease, and I didn’t recall us sharing any light or humorous moments. However, the more I ruminated on the topic, the more fascinated I became. I was familiar with the old adage, “laughter is the best medicine,” but could this expression apply to patients with terminal illness?
Last week, our national organization featured our friend, Carmen Berkley, on their blog. Carmen shared her morning attending the ALS Certified Center of Excellence at Saint Louis University — the only one in our region. We’d like to share it here with you.
Your life can change in an instant. Carmen Berkley’s life did in 2015. She is one of the 6,000 people diagnosed with ALS each year. In the video below, Carmen shares with us what a visit to an ALS clinic is like for someone living with the disease.
Before diagnosis, Carmen kept busy as a unit secretary on the oncology floor at Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis and took care of her elderly father. Now, her husband Charles and two daughters, Jamia and Camille, take care of her.
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Powerful blog post from our friend Pat Quinn, courtesy of WebMD.
By Pat Quinn
When you’re diagnosed with a disease that has a life expectancy of 2-5 years, you will do anything to change that. Almost 5 years ago, I was stunned as I heard my doctor say, “It’s conclusive, we can confidently diagnose you with ALS.” It was the most surreal moment of my life. Sure, I had had some crazy twitching in my arms. Yes, my hands had become weak. But, 2-5 years to live? No, that was unacceptable to me. I was only 30 years old! So, after the initial shock wore off, I decided that I was going to fight.
As one faces a terminal illness, such as ALS, it can be rewarding and fulfilling to review one’s life journey and reminisce about favorite people, experiences, and events, for remembering and reflecting on your life, in order to help you celebrate your successes, cherish your loved ones, and honor your journey. It is also important to reconcile or accommodate difficult or painful memories or events, providing an opportunity to forgive yourself and others if appropriate. Especially during this time of year when we are celebrating holidays and are with family and friends, projects such as the ones below can make very meaningful gifts, not only to those you love, but also as a gift to yourself.
In my first 3 posts, I related my family’s journey with ALS, hoping that other caregivers would connect with some aspects of my experience. Going forward, Caregiver Confidential will be a monthly forum for caregivers to share ideas and the unique experiences and perspectives of caring for a loved one with ALS.
But first, let me describe how my daughter Leah and I coped after my husband Brian passed away in 2010. Although the first year as a widow was a huge life adjustment, I still had a semblance of my pre-ALS life. Leah was living at home, working, and applying to medical school. I enjoyed being part of her journey into medicine, and it kept me mentally occupied. Then the bottom fell out—Leah left to attend medical school in Philadelphia in July 2011, which was a painfully difficult adjustment and the point at which I was forced to confront that I was now alone, as a single person, after a 36-year marriage. Slowly, I have regained my footing, but I also have had considerable time to ruminate about my experience as a caregiver.
More than 65 million people, 29% of the U.S. population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year and spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved one. (Caregiving in the United States; National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with AARP; November 2009)
Caregiving for someone with ALS – while done with a great deal of love and devotion – often times exacts a great emotional and physical toll for the caregiver. Caregivers are often employed outside the home and may be the primary source of household income, which adds even more demands, responsibilities and stress.
During National Family Caregivers Month, we recognize and thank the everyday heroes who devote their time and energy to taking care of a loved one. Millions of people around the country take on the role of caregiver for friends and family members; providing care day and night, on the weekends and even on demand. Many people, especially those that need long-term care, rely on family and friends as their only source of help. While many take this on out of love and receive satisfaction from caregiving, it can take a toll over time and even cause detrimental effects to the caregiver’s health and well-being. It is important for caregivers to make sure they are taking care of themselves, even as they are taking care of others. Below we have compiled a list of resources to help those in our community navigate the world of caregiving: